Needing Good Vibes!

First of all, if you're still out there, thank you!

Second, I was notified that I'm a finalist for a position I've been interviewing for...and if you'd be willing to send some vibes my way, I'd appreciate it!

My current situation has been more than unpleasant for quite some time, and I'm anxious for something new...new challenges, new rewards, new people. I should hopefully know more within the week, but until then, I'm extremely nervous. I've had the same job for over six years now, and change scares me, even though I know it's what I need to do.

Mini Milestone

As of today, I am
60 days smoke-free.

There are a billion other things going on that I'm struggling with, but so far, so good on this one. And I have to remind myself of the positives whenever I can, no matter how big or small.

I would really, really like to find some way to celebrate and congratulate myself...it has to be less than $10 and canNOT involve calories ;)  Thoughts?

Happy

There is NOTHING like the pure, unadulterated joy provided by an air show.  Pop was a pilot before I came along, and he instilled in me an awe that is unparalleled when it comes to planes.

So when I heard the roar outside my window, I quickly ran to the parking garage.  I just finished watching a practice run for Fair St. Louis this weekend, and I feel that at this very moment, I could not possibly be happier.

Sometimes I'm glad I have to work :)

Adding this to the Dream Job files...

I would be a really, really, really, really, really, REALLY good professional taste-tester.

I think I need to create this job ASAP.

Toilet Talk

Yesterday was quite an experience in the women's restroom.  Though it's not entirely uncommon to see little bits and pieces of TP strewn about the floor, or the occasional forgotten flush, yesterday took the cake, dear readers.  For those with weak stomachs, do not read on...

Yesterday I sat in someone's urine.

There.  I said it.  Did I provide you with enough time to let that sink in?  Because it happened.  To me.  And let me tell you, dear readers, the crappy one-ply industrial-strength crap they call toilet paper in this building is nowhere near enough to make me feel like I came clean.  In fact, nothing worked until I took a shower at home.  And I'm beyond disgusted.

Let this be a PSA directed to all

Ladies Who Hover: 

1. I completely understand the grotesque factor about touching the dastardly, icky, yucky grossness that is the public toilet seat.  I applaud your ability to avoid having to do so. 

2. Not all of us are that capable, and frankly, I'm just too fat to hold my own body weight up and piss at the same time. 

3. In addition, there is rarely a (silly, almost pointless) paper seat-cover option available. 

4. While I respect - nay, admire - your strength to get a workout on the "go," I respectfully request you be sure you've left nothing behind...because as much as you don't want to touch the seat, nobody wants to sit in your urine.

As a result, I may or may not have posted signs in the ladies room as a "friendly reminder" about bathroom etiquette.  Sure, people make mistakes on occasion, but for the Love of Pete, EEEEEWW.

First major challenge

Yesterday was a good friend's birthday.  We were part of an ever-so-secretive scheme to throw together a surprise party...with 3 hours notice!

:: insert eyeroll here ::

But, I managed to get through it in one piece, tobacco free.  Surrounded by smokers, alcohol, AND a bonfire, I took it easier than I ever would've expected.

And I did it. :)

Thanks for the comments yesterday.  I know I say that every time I venture out and try to quit, but I wouldn't say it if I didn't mean it.  The support always means more than you would guess, but sometimes I can't turn to Mr. P for support when we're dealing with the same challenge.  I did a few flights of stairs at work during what used to be my normal break time (note to self: bring tennis shoes to work!) AND when I got home I jumped on the elliptical for 15 minutes.  This may not sounds like a major feat to many of you, but Holy Crap almost covers how I feel. Dinner included rice, black beans, veggies, and a little cheese.  (Those commercials don't lie when they're all "Behold the power of cheese." No shit.  That may be my biggest food vice next to carbs!)

Today's a new day, and my goal is to do it all over again :)

It's that time again...

I wanted to post this first thing this morning, but Blogger and I had a disagreement and it won.

So I'm trying again this afternoon. 

Mr. P and I are getting back on the wagon.

(again)

I really, truly want to quit. Can’t begin to tell you how hard this is…EVERY TIME I try. I honestly have no interest in the cigarettes themselves – it becomes an oral fixation of sorts, or a hand to mouth thing, or a boredom thing, or frustration, or whatever.  It's just a THING.

Weird, not-quite-exact-but-sorta-close comparison: For those of you who wear glasses and/or contacts, it’s like having worn your glasses for a month, then putting contacts in one day, and constantly reaching for the glasses frames throughout the day to adjust them. Becomes second nature, and feels weird when they’re not on.

The good news: this time, we’re not in the middle of moving.
The bad news: it’s summer, and we’ll be outside a lot.

The good news: I believe I can do it.
The bad news: I’m deathly afraid I’ll gain even more weight.

My Top 10 Smoking-related Triggers:
10. Just because
9. After meals
8. Long phone calls
7. Socialization (in general)
6. Feeling down
5. With a cup of coffee
4. Catching up with old friends
3. Pissed off at something work-related
2. Driving
1. ALCOHOL

Looks like I have to avoid quite a bit for a while.  Any ideas about how to avoid work? (ha.)
On the financial side of things – patches are actually MORE expensive than cigarettes up front. I have to remind myself that spending more right now will mean spending much, MUCH less in the future.

So there you have it. Trying again to quit.

And no matter what happens, I will keep trying until I actually DO quit.